


Could of been a different ending

by scrapyardhubbys



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Drug Use, History, Love, M/M, Past, Secrets, The Past, proud, roberts past, strong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 15:45:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10767375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrapyardhubbys/pseuds/scrapyardhubbys
Summary: Set after holly’s death  and  decided to make Roberts missing years link in with thisWarning- Mentioned Drug use :( Poor Robert





	Could of been a different ending

**Author's Note:**

> I dunno how i feel about this :( Kind of bit dark/ depressing

Aaron and Robert had just pulled up outside the woolpack after being up at butler’s farm seeing Adam and moria, neither Robert or Aaron couldn’t believe that Holly was dead, she was so young had such a bright future in front of her but that was gone, it was tragic. Aaron was worried he didn’t know how Adam was going to cope he loved his sister they were best friends, Aaron remembers the days at the begging were them three used to hang out, the simpler times, but most of all Aaron had noticed how quite Robert had been since the news of holly broke. 

“Hey Robert you okay”  
“what... erm yeah I’m fine, think I’m going to go for a walk”  
“wait why, you never go for a walk, Robert what’s happened are you okay”  
“Aaron I’m fine I just need to think” and with that Robert was out of the car and making his way down the street

It would be a lie if Aaron said he wasn’t worried, this was totally out of character for Robert, Aaron hadn’t expected this kind of reaction of Robert from holly’s death he didn’t even think they were that close, or were they? no course they weren’t Aaron thought to himself he needed to trust Robert and there wasn’t anything going on between holly and Robert, he decided he couldn’t leave Robert like this though so followed behind Robert, Aaron eventually caught up with Robert just behind the vets it was a place where Aaron used to come to hide away because not many people knew it was there. When he found Robert, he was sat down with his shirt sleeve rolled up and his head in his hands, Aaron slowly made his way over to Robert, sitting next to him and gently placing a hand on Roberts head and with that Robert broke he fell into Aarons arms and sobbed. There was a knot in Aarons stomach what had caused such a reaction from Robert, he was worried he needed to sort this out. 

Robert pulled apart and wiped his tears away “I’m sorry”  
“what are you sorry for Robert? I need you talk to me”

“I can’t Aaron you will hate me” Robert was still crying but at least he was able to talk to Aaron unlike before   
“Robert, tell me what it is and I’ll make up my mind? Please tell me you weren’t seeing holly Barton?” Aaron was getting angry now   
“What no. course not. I love you” Robert smiled  
Aaron began to calm down “Right whatever it is we can get through it together yeah?”   
“Ok but you’re going to hate me after this, I’m so sorry Aaron” Robert moved his arm and showed Aaron his forearm, a forearm Aaron has seen thousands of times, pale but full of freckles and a few pinprick scars which Robert had said he’d got them when he had chicken pox when he was younger, always made Aaron smile imagining a young Robert.   
“Ok it’s your arm what am I looking at Robert”  
“Right do you remember when I told you I got these scars from when I was young and had the chickenpox I lied, I’m sorry Aaron”  
Aaron was beyond confused “Right okay, so what are they from”  
“Aaron you have to know when my dad kicked me out I was in a really bad place, I had no family, no life no one, I moved to London and got it with the wrong crowd and before you know it I got into drugs, it was a really bad time in my life but yeah just like holly I was addicted to heroin and I guess holly’s death came as a shock because that could of been me if I hadn’t sorted myself out” Robert was wiping the tears away looking directly at Aaron 

Aaron was in shock, he felt sick, he wasn’t angry he was upset that Robert was ever in danger of that happening to him or that Robert once felt that unloved he turned to drugs “Oh Robert why didn’t you tell me, I don’t hate you I love you do you understand how strong that makes you to give up that”   
“You don’t hate me? I hate myself for it, I’m sorry” Robert was itching his arms were the needle marks littered his skin   
“Rob I love you, you’re a different person to the person you were when you came to the village, how longs it been since you quit” Aaron regretted asking soon as thee words left his mouth   
“Officially 8 years but I fell of the wagon once and it scared me” Robert was looking down at the ground in shame  
“8 years that’s amazing, when did you fall of the wagon was it when you still were in London?” Aaron gave him a faint smile   
“No, it was may this year, I’m sorry” Robert lifted his head, there was pain in his eyes   
“May as in this year? why what made you do that” Aaron felt broken how had Robert got into that state he needed to touch drugs again  
“It doesn’t matter honestly Aaron”  
“Robert please was it because of us” 

Robert didn’t reply and that gave the answer he needed, Aaron was trying to think back at what had happened in may they had just gotten over the Gordon situation and liv started to live with him and well them to was taking it slow, Aaron couldn’t think.   
“Robert tell me I need to know so I can make sure this never happens again” Aaron pleaded with Robert  
“Aaron it wasn’t your fault, I was the weak one what went and got the drugs not you, I was just in a bad place after we had an argument I thought I’d messed it up this time for good and I needed to take the pain away” Robert wanted to reach out to Aaron but didn’t know if that was the best move

It hit Aaron like a train he remembers the argument, it was the one where he found of that Robert had burnt the letter from Gordon and Aaron had told him to get out of his life for good. Aaron wanted to cry out he had never meant for that to happen, he could of ruined Robert with a few words in an argument. Aaron grabbed Robert and pulled him into a hug half expecting Robert to push Aaron away but the opposite happened Robert welcomed thee hug nuzzling his head into Aaron's neck, sniffling back the tears. 

“I’m so sorry baby and never meant to hurt you so much, I promise I will never make you feel like that’s the only option ever again and you have to promise me that if you ever feel like going taking that stuff you will come to me because I couldn’t bear loosing you” Aaron just wanted to take Robert and keep him safe forever 

“I’m so sorry Aaron, it wasn’t your fault I used to the drugs as a way to hurt myself but I don’t do that anymore I promise, but yes I promise ill always tell you” Robert smiled 

They sat there for a whole hour, Robert explaining how he got over the drugs and why he felt the need to take them in the first place, it was a lot of stuff Aaron already knew it was Roberts way of hurting himself because of the abandonment by his dad and the fact he couldn’t except his sexuality, it was getting cold and they knew Liv would be wondering where they both have gotten to

“come on you better get home and see what trouble Liv has caused, you’re okay though” Aaron smiled as he got up of the grass holding out a hand for Robert to grab. Aaron helped up Robert, and Robert began pulling his sleeves down and biting the inside of his mouth, Aaron knew this was when something was bothering Robert.

“Aaron, I don’t think I can go back up to Moiras just yet, I can’t cope with it at the moment, I’m sorry, are you disappointed in me”

“Course not Robert don’t be silly I’m not disappointed, I’m proud that you know what you can and cannot handle” Aaron grabbed out for Roberts hand and they walked hoe back to the pub.

Robert felt safe knowing that Aaron knew everything about his life now, more than anyone has ever met, and he felt secure knowing that Aaron would never treat him any different and he would always be there for Robert even in the darkest of times, and that’s when Robert realised this was the man he was going to marry and spend rest of his life with.


End file.
